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PAINTINGS, PORTRAITS, etc.
Selfportraits
Nâzým As Painter
Piraye's Portraits
Prison Friends
His Other Paintings
Drawings
Nâzým Reading
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PAINTINGS, PORTRAITS, etc. Selfportraits Nâzým As Painter Piraye's Portraits Prison Friends His Other Paintings Drawings Nâzým Reading |
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SELFPORTRAITS AUTOBIOGRAPHY I was born in 1902and never went back to the city I'd been born I don't like to go back at three I served as a pasha-grandson in Aleppo at nineteen as a student of communist University in Moskow at forty nine again in Moskow as a Tcheka Party guest and since fourteen I serve as a poet some people know all the kinds of grass some of fish me of separations some people recite the names of the stars me of longings I've slept in prisons and in grand hotels I've starved including a hunger strike and there is almost no food Ihaven't tasted at thirty they wanted to hang me at forty eight they wanted to give me the Peace Prize which they did at thirty six I passed for square meters of concrete in half a year at fifty nine I flew from Prague to Havana in eighteen hours I've never seen Lenin but stood watch at his coffin in 1924 his tomb I visit in 1961 is his books they tried to tear me off from my party it didn't work I wasn't even crushed under the falling idols in 1951 with a young friend in sea I've attacked upon death in 1952 with a cracked heart flat on my back for four months I've waited death I was madly jealous of the woman I loved I didn't envy Chaplin even a bit I deceived my woman I never backbit my friends I drank but I didn't become a drinker I always earned my bread with the sweat of my brow what a hapiness for me I was ashamed on behalf of others and lied I lied not to worry others but I also lied without a reason I've ridden trains planes cars majority can not I've gone to the opera majority can not they haven't even heard the name of the opera and since 1921 I haven't gone to some places where majority can go mosques churches temples synagogues sorcerers but I've had my fortune read on coffee grounds my writings are published in thirty or forty languages in my Turkey in my Turkish they're forbidden I'm not caught by cancer yet and not supposed to be caught I'll never be a prime minister and so I'm not interested in such things I didn't take part in war I didn't go down to shelters in midnights I didn't walk on the roads under diving planes but I fell in love at nearly sixty in short comrades even if today in Berlin I'm dying of sorrow I can say I lived humanly and how much longer shall I live what else shall I experience who knows. This autobiography was written in East Berlin on 11'th September 1961 tr. by Fuat Engin |
